Poem/ Commentary

This is a note that I originally posted on my facebook page and decided to share here as well.

It hasn’t been easy

It hasn’t been easy for me growing up with autism.

It hasn’t been easy for me not having any close friends.

It hasn’t been easy for me not being able to say hi to people I know.

It hasn’t been easy for me trying to talk to people that probably don’t even know I exist.

It hasn’t been easy for me trying to fit in when I have no idea how.

It hasn’t been easy for me trying to understand what people want from me.

It hasn’t been easy for me trying to be myself when everything tells me I should be someone else.

It hasn’t been easy for me being different.

Autism is never easy, but we try to make it work anyway because in the end it’s all we’ve got.

There’s all this stuff out there that says let’s find a cure for autism or donate to help cure autism, etc.

To be honest, I don’t think you can cure autism. I don’t think it’s a disease. It’s not like cancer or aids or anything like that. It’s not something that will kill you or make it so you have to be on bed rest all the time. Autism is just how we think. It’s how we process information. It’s how we see the world.

Even if there was a “cure” for autism, I wouldn’t want it. Yeah, having autism sucks and not being like everyone else, not thinking like everyone else is hard sometimes, but it’s who I am. I couldn’t imagine myself without autism because I just wouldn’t be me anymore. I know I’m not the easiest person to be around and I don’t make friends very easily and I don’t know what to say sometimes and I don’t know how to start conversations, but without all that I’d just be like everyone else. I’m not sure I can handle being like everyone else.

I used to think that if I didn’t have autism my life would be great. I thought that I wouldn’t have any problems and that I’d have lots of friends and never be lonely. But since then I’ve realized that my life is great. I may not have lots of friends, but not everyone does. Everyone has problems and we all get lonely at times. So really, not having autism would just make me someone else who sees the world like everyone else. I like seeing the world differently. I like being me.

So… go put your money into a cure for cancer or aids or heart disease- us autism people will be fine =)

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