The making of this blog has caused me to look into autism a lot more than I ever had before. Although I have been curious from time to time about what autism is and how it affects me, I had never really researched examples of autism or specific traits people with autism tend to exhibit. I majored in Psychology and took classes that talked about autism so I knew the DSM-IV diagnosis and the criteria to fit that diagnosis, but until recently I never realized how much of my life was affected by autism and how symptoms of autism manifest themselves in real life.
It is sometimes hard to learn about autism. There are a lot of things that pertain to me and a lot of things that don’t, but that can be hard to hear anyway. It’s sometimes difficult to realize that I’m bad at something because of autism. It just makes me realize (or perhaps remember) that I’m different, which isn’t always something I like to be reminded of. It’s also sometimes hard to learn about autism because then I realize that I struggle with something that perhaps I didn’t realize I struggled with before. It’s like if someone pointed out a flaw to you that you never realized you did and then you’re somewhat subconscious of doing it after that.
I also have so many unanswered questions. No matter how much I learn about autism, there are things I don’t know or don’t understand about both autism and everything else. I wish that I had people that I could ask some of these questions, but how can you ask something no one has ever asked before when you already have problems asking questions that are asked every day? I know that my parents are willing to answer any question I may have, but some questions just need to be answered by friends (which is also another problem for someone with autism).
Anyway, maybe one day my questions will be answered or I will find a way to answer them myself. I also sometimes wonder if people without autism have questions about what is normal and what is not. I can always look to autism websites to find out some things that are not normal, but where does one look to find out things that are normal?