I find myself asking this question a lot lately. Is this supposed to be easy? Is this easy for most people? Would this be easy for me if I didn’t have Asperger’s?
Normally this question comes up when I need to get something done that I really don’t want to do. For example, I ordered something online and need to call customer service because it hasn’t come in the mail yet. This isn’t something I want to do though and have to decide whether I want the item more than I want to avoid having to call and talk to people about this sort of thing on the phone. These sorts of problems often make me question whether it is normal for it to be this hard to do something or if it’s just me that has a hard time with it.
I also ask this question a lot when I need to talk to people I know. I know it might seem a little strange, but I often have an easier time talking to someone I’ve never met rather than someone I know. For me, it’s just easier to start with a fresh slate than to try to figure out where I need to start out at. I feel like I have already gotten off on the wrong foot on so many relationships that there is no good way to recover them, but with a new relationship I can be who I am and start out as someone better than who people I know see me as.
Are friendships easy? Is it supposed to be easy to make friends? Is it easy to talk to people you know? Is it easy to say hi to someone you recognize? Do most people question if their normal conversation is actually normal or not? What is easy in this world for people who don’t struggle with autism? And more importantly, is there any way these things will ever be easy for me?