Friends

I know this opening statement will probably make me seem completely socially awkward, but it’s a big deal to me so I’m gonna go ahead and post it anyway. This week I was asked to hang out with someone for the first time in my life. I have never made a friend so easily and so naturally before that I was almost in disbelief.

Now in saying this, I must also say that I’ve made a lot of friends over the years. However, most of those friends developed over a long series of events. Through seeing me over and over and getting to know me better, people eventually became my friends. I’ve been the person that people have said they wished they had gotten to know me better, or they were glad that they got to know me, but never the person that you want to be friends with the first time you meet them.

I don’t want to make this post over dramatic, but I want to help you understand just how hard it is to make friends when you have autism. Although I have a few good friends, I have only been to maybe two friends’ houses over the years. And every time I’ve spent time with friends was either as a group activity where I was invited along with others or it was because I arranged to meet with someone. I’ve never had a mutual friendship where I would call someone to hang out and they would call me to hang out.

I don’t know what will come of this new potential friendship, but I am excited about what it may bring and mean for me. To feel like someone might actually enjoy your presence enough to make an effort to spend time with you is an amazing thing. It makes me feel like I might actually belong in this world that I have felt so alien in.

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2 thoughts on “Friends

  1. RachellieBellie says:

    I am SO GLAD you found a friend!!! My son is 12, and on the spectrum, and it BREAKS MY HEART to see how hard it is for him to make friends. 😭😭😭

    Do you think there is anything I could do to help him? We are doing ABA, OT, counseling (for middle school bullying) and social skills group (the social skills group has been super helpful!). Any other ideas?

    Like

    • For me, I just stayed involved with anything I could- church, school, sports. Anywhere that you can find good kids that are understanding is a good place to keep going. Other than that, just be supportive. I never felt like I had many friends growing up, but I knew I always had my family and that was enough to get me through.
      If it’s especially difficult to find friends, the internet is not a bad place to go to for support. I’ve made a few friends online that have helped me feel less alone when I couldn’t seem to find anyone in person. The only thing with the internet is making sure you’re not sucked into it and that it’s always a positive experience and never a negative one.

      Like

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