Blunt

I have heard that people with autism cannot lie. I’m not sure if this is true, or simply an observation that has been made of certain people with autism. In my case, I don’t think I’ve ever told a straight out lie. I have told half truths or exaggerations at some points in my life, but I don’t recall ever telling the opposite of the truth.

For me, it just doesn’t make sense to lie. If you do something that you shouldn’t do, you should tell the truth and deal with the consequences. The consequences will usually happen eventually anyway so you might as well tell the truth and get it over with than lie and draw it out. I’m not sure if I always had that philosophy, that there was no point to lying, or if I simply did not have the capacity to lie when I was younger.

I also don’t feel the need to lie when someone asks me a question. For example, if someone were to ask me if a dress looked good on them, I would answer honestly rather than just saying yes to make them feel better. I don’t think it’s effective to tell “white lies” because then I wouldn’t be able to show when I truly do mean something. If I say something I don’t mean, then when I mean something how can I say it differently? Maybe other people have a way of saying things differently when they mean it and a way when they don’t mean it, but for me I think it would all come out the same way.

Although I have at times been half truthful in order to get out of trouble, I don’t believe I have ever been half truthful in what I tell others about themselves. Most, if not all, of my lies have been to get out of trouble for homework. (Homework is the bane of my existence.) Although I did feel compelled at times to exaggerate my circumstances about why I could not finish my homework, I have never felt compelled to lie about how I felt about others or how I saw others. In fact, if anything I have felt compelled to be overly honest.

In the past couple days, I have been reminiscing by looking through some old messages that I sent people over the years. I am amazed at how blunt and inconsiderate I once was. Not that I was ever dishonest or intentionally harsh or malicious, but I did tell people more than they needed to hear and I tended to tell people things in more direct ways than necessary. Actually, I’m not sure if I’m any better at not being so blunt now.

I feel that my honesty came out too harshly in some of these situations, but at the time I did not feel right about not saying the things I said. I felt the need to tell everyone exactly what I saw and thought. One of the reasons for this may have been that I was so curious about what everyone else saw and thought that I felt that if I let everyone know my feelings, maybe they would let me know theirs. This didn’t really work of course because other people have more of a filter than I do.

Anyway, since then I have learned how to be honest without being so blunt. I can’t say whether or not my execution coincides with what I have learned, but I have learned it nonetheless.

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