Second Chances

People don’t generally give second chances. We talk a lot about first impressions and how important they are, but the implication of a first impression isn’t just important; it’s life changing.

This may be an observation that isn’t necessarily true of society but, from what I have seen, people expect you to act the same way you acted in their first impression of you. In other words, people find it strange when you act different than the person they perceived you to be when they first met you.

This is incredibly hard for me because, in general, I am not the person people perceive me to be on our first meeting. I’m funny and outgoing and sarcastic and I don’t take life seriously and I love spending time with people and talking and joking and having fun. However, most people think that I am serious, reserved, shy, intelligent, standoffish, and more or less an introvert.

This has created quite a dilemma for me over the years because inside I am not what people perceive me to be on the outside, but I know that people expect me to fit their perceptions and I don’t want to scare them away by being someone they didn’t think I was.

So my entire life, I have lived up to people’s perceptions. If I was reserved in our first meeting, I would be reserved around them from that point forward. If I was outgoing in our first meeting, I would be outgoing from that point forward. And if I happened to be around someone that I was outgoing with and then someone that I was usually reserved with stepped into the scene, I would be true to my outgoing self and they would have a new perception of me that would be connected to a specific person or situation.

Make sense so far?

Well, here’s the point of all this:

I have decided that I’m going to try breaking people’s perceptions. I know that I would be happier if I could be the person I want to be rather than the person people expect me to be. I am going to try to create a second chance for myself and see what happens. And if it completely fails, well… I don’t plan on staying here forever so I’ll just move on and try to make a truer first impression in the next place.

Wish me luck! 🙂

7 thoughts on “Second Chances

  1. From where I am on the spectrum, I have always had a HUGE problem processing and understanding why people sometimes seem to pretend to be nicer than they are and then can be mean. I always feel like one of the most important things about being a good person is being true to yourself and not changing your behavior depending on who you are with, not being “fake”.,..You address this from a completely different angle and definitely made me think.


    • I’m glad it made you think. I think it’s definitely important to be true to yourself, but everyone has different parts of their personality. We all have serious parts to us and fun parts to us and we just choose which part will dominate when. It’s always interesting to me though to see what brings out different parts of people’s personalities.


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