Being an extrovert with autism is like having asthma with no inhaler. You’re always struggling to get enough air.
I’m an introverted extrovert, which basically means I don’t automatically socialize with people or start conversations, but I get my energy from socializing and spending time with people. So I am pretty much always starving emotionally. I wish I could say that it’s gotten better with time, but it’s pretty much been the same my whole life. Actually it’s probably gotten worse since I became an adult.
I don’t know why I’m writing this post other than just to let people know how hard it is. Everyone always says how strong I am, but sometimes I just want to say I’m tired of being strong. I just want to feel loved instead. I just want to have friends instead. I just want to not feel like I’m starving for interaction instead.
But… it doesn’t work like that… And I just don’t know what to do to change it, but I am trying because that’s all I can really do at this point.