What is Love?

I have a hard time with love. Not the romantic kind, but the everyday friend, family, stranger kind of love. Lately I have been trying to figure out exactly what love is and what that means to me.

I have friends that say they love me. Sometimes I can say it back, but most of the time I don’t. I’m not sure why it’s so hard to say I love you. I mean, I know I do love people. I feel a warmth toward them and a desire for their happiness. Is that love?

Maybe I have such a hard time saying I love you because it doesn’t seem to fit. What does loving someone have to do with a normal conversation? I guess I still am getting over the thought that love is connected to actions. Growing up, I always thought people only loved me because of what I did for them. I felt like I wasn’t loved when I didn’t do what people wanted.

So maybe saying I love you feels like a lie because words don’t mean as much as actions. Maybe it’s the knot I get in my stomach when someone says I love you because I remember being hurt by people who said they loved me.

Whatever the reason, I’m working on it. I’m working on being better. I’m working on loving others and allowing myself to be loved by others. It’s definitely a work in progress, but I’m grateful for the examples I have along the way.


10 thoughts on “What is Love?

      • I think all love should be unconditional. However the majority don’t follow this idea and expect something in exchange for love.

        Love makes you feel good about yourself and the other person or pet or your projection. It should be a mutual warmth of feeling.

        The expression “I love you,” is something you say when you feel that, I suppose. I don’t feel like I say as often as the other person not because I don’t feel it but I prefer to express myself with a hug or an expression of love rather than words. Some people are more verbal than others. I don’t believe it means anything else. The other person knows you and should accept you as you are. Hollywood has probably ruined many relationships.

        Not accepting ourselves and others as we are are the hurdles that we have. We expect more or want things to change to be something they/we are not and the disappointment or uneasiness follows.

        We are whole as we are right now. We are ‘perfect’ as we are now. That is enough. (Never liked the word perfect, it seems to imply that we are never good enough.) Yet we do improve with age if we are looking to better ourselves, without competing or comparing ourselves with others. There is so much to learn and appreciate.

        This is a nice post to think on. Thank you.


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