I have no idea how Beth and I became best friends. We are complete opposites in almost everything. She is a country girl who grew up mostly in trailer homes. I am a city girl who grew up 15 minutes from 3 major malls, 2 giant amusement parks, countless beaches, and pretty much anything you would want to do in southern California. She enjoys cuddling, saying I love you, and watching romance movies. I don’t usually hug people, much less cuddle with them, have a hard time saying I love you, and would rather watch an action film than a romance. She struggles in school and doesn’t generally enjoy learning about random stuff. I love learning and hardly ever study because it comes so naturally to me.
Almost every time we talk, one of us will say, how did we ever become friends? But the fact remains that we are best friends and plan on remaining so until we’re old and senial and forget each other’s names. Then, we’ll be new best friends.
I could say more about our friendship, but this story is about Beth. How did she get here and why is she struggling?
Beth grew up in an abusive household. Her mother was an addict when she was pregnant and it didn’t change after Beth was born. Beth’s older siblings took advantage of her, experimenting their perceptions of life on Beth and taking out their frustrations on her. Living in abuse led to not knowing how to prevent it in other places. So school wasn’t much better than home.
I won’t go into details, but by the time I met Beth, she had been through a lot. She was a freshman in high school and I was a sophomore in college. We’re only 3 years apart in age, but miles apart in life circumstances. After 2 years of friendship, I made the decision that would change both of our lives forever by bringing Beth to California.
It has been 3 years since then and we’re still best friends, but changing Beth’s circumstances didn’t change her past. She still has PTSD from everything that happened to her as well as health problems and depression. It did change everything for me though. Being friends with Beth gave me freedom from depression for the first time in my life and changed how I view the world and myself.
I know it’s not as easy to change effects of abuse as it is to change effects of loneliness, but I want the same thing for my best friend as she has given me. That can’t happen until she gets the help she needs. I contribute all I can to help her, even signing as a cosigner so she could get an apartment after being homeless for 9 months. But if anyone else can help too, it would mean she may be able to get the help she needs to become whole like she has helped me become.
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