Not Depressed

Sometimes not being depressed is depressing.

I know I’m not in a state of depression anymore because I can actually get out of bed in the morning and it isn’t so hard. I know I’m not depressed anymore because I can do normal things like clean my room and do laundry and wash dishes without feeling emotionally spent. I can drive my commute without thinking of suicide. But… I still have moments of sadness, loneliness, pain, and even despair.

Sometimes it is hard to realize how difficult life is even though it has gotten easier. I still cry over stupid stuff. I still eat more cookies than I should when I had a rough day. I still silently scream when I feel trapped and ignored. I still feel pain and sorrow and broken to my core at times.

The difference is I have hope. I may cry myself to sleep, but tomorrow is a new day. I wake up and I might be tired, but I know I can do this. Life is hard. Even when you’re not depressed, life can still feel depressing. But there is hope. There is always hope.

And I hope you can see that.


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