It’s interesting how much things can change in a matter of weeks or even days. A few weeks ago, I would have said that I don’t have many regrets, but the few regrets I have are things I can’t do anything about. What I have realized though is that my “regrets” were really just things I needed to forgive myself for- times when I was misunderstood or didn’t communicate what I wanted to say or was unable to get my message across. I thought that I felt bad about these things because I couldn’t do anything to fix them. The truth was that I felt bad about these things because I messed up. I felt bad because these were times when I failed people, when I failed myself.
I have realized though that the only way I really failed anyone was by not forgiving myself for my faults and mistakes. Most of the things I regretted were times when I didn’t communicate effectively and someone misunderstood me. I looked back on times when things went wrong because I failed to adequately communicate. And when I looked back, I just saw failure, lost opportunities, or possible hurt feelings.
Now though, I have looked back and forgiven myself. I have looked back and seen that most of the time, it really wasn’t my fault. Yes, I failed to communicate, but that was just a small factor in what caused things to go wrong. And I learned. I learned to be more careful about how I say things. I learned to try to see things from the other person’s perspective. And I learned to never make someone feel like people have made me feel about myself.
So now, I can honestly say that I have no regrets. There is nothing in my life that hasn’t been fixed or apologized for or changed or forgiven. There is nothing that I long to change, nothing that I would change, and nothing that I need to change. That’s not to say that I’m perfect or that I don’t make mistakes every day. I fall and I fail and I mess up a lot, but I am getting better. I am a better person today than I was yesterday, and I will be a better person this afternoon than I was this morning. I think that’s the key to no regrets- consistently trying to do better and forgiving yourself for the times when you falter.