What Can I Do For You?

Sometimes I question if things are really to be believed, if people can really be believed.

“Let me know if there’s anything I can do for you.”

This statement, without the time and experiences to back it up, will never mean any more than just a simple reassurance of goodwill. It is impossible to know the veracity of this statement without testing it out, but most people would never test it out unless they knew it was true.

I get depressed and anxious fairly often and usually just need the simple reassurance that I am doing okay, that what I am doing is appreciated and has worth. But how could I possibly ask that of someone who has done no more than offer to be there? Even the people I know would be there for me are often not there when I need them. So why would I trust someone new to fill that need?

Building a relationship of trust requires more than the simple offer of assistance. It requires consistent experiences that show your offer is legitimate. Perhaps that is why it is so difficult to trust others.

In this world of perceived involvement, it is hard to be truly involved to a point that trust is implicit in your relationship. We convince ourselves that we will be there for people when it really matters. The truth is though, if you are not there when it doesn’t matter, why would anyone want you there when it does matter?

My point with all of this is simply to use your time deliberately. Time is the most limited resource for anyone. If you want to be there for someone in the big things, you have to be there in the little things. You cannot afford to be too busy for someone and then expect them to trust you when it matters most. As the saying goes, “the best present is to be present.” Our consistent presence is more important than any offer of goods or assistance that we can ever give.

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