“Being strong can be a very lonely thing.” -Lucy Mack Smith
I went in for an endoscopy today. It wasn’t a big deal. It was a rather ordinary procedure with little risk.
But I was scared, not because of the procedure but because I would be alone. Of course, I wasn’t physically alone. You can’t drive for 12 hours after the medicine they give you. But I was emotionally alone. I had a ride, but not someone I could lean on, not someone who could hug me after just because, not someone who would make sure I got something to eat after fasting all day, not someone who would just stay with me and watch a movie because I can’t drive or think straight.
People say that I am strong. I know I am strong. I have no choice but to be strong. I have to keep going. I have to keep choosing to be strong. Even though I am in constant pain that can be so excruciating that I struggle to stand, I stand anyway. It is all out of necessity. I cannot afford to not be strong. Still… “Being strong can be a very lonely thing.”