I know I have been posting a lot lately about abuse, suicide, self injury, and things of that nature. I know it worries some of you. I know it saddens some of you. And I know that it may annoy some of you. I know it can be hard to read or difficult to understand or tempting to avoid, but I’m glad you read it anyway.
Right now, I am coming to terms with a lot of things. I am starting to understand myself and the philosophies that have governed my life. I am starting to see my thoughts as they really are and slowly learning to change them. It is hard. I know it is hard for you to read, but it is also difficult for me to comprehend.
I need you. I need this. I need a place I can come to to be completely honest with myself. As long as these thoughts stay in my head, I must deal with them alone, and it is a heavy burden to bear alone. Posting about my thoughts does not diminish the burden, but it does decrease the loneliness. It allows me to receive feedback that I am doing okay, that I am making progress, that even though I must bear the burden alone, the weight of that burden can be shared.
So thank you for being part of this. Thank you for allowing me to share my burden. Thank you for trying to understand even though these may be things you never experienced before or don’t know about. In all honesty, I hope you don’t understand. I hope you don’t know what it feels like. I hope you have never had to go through these things. But I’m glad you care anyway. I really couldn’t ask for any more than that.