Not Okay

I haven’t been okay for a long time. Some days I feel like hiding in a corner as I repeat to myself that I am not okay. I’m not sure why I repeat it, maybe to try to make sense of it all.

The problem is that there’s nothing really wrong. Okay, that’s not entirely true… I have been in basically non-stop pain for about two months now. I’m fairly used to pain though, so it seems a little strange that it’s taking such a toll on me.

My doctor put me on medicine for anxiety. I haven’t been on it very long, but I hope it helps. I’m just tired of not being okay, and I’m not sure what to do about it. I feel like I squander my time lying in bed, but with the pain and depression, it’s hard to want to do anything else.

I keep hoping it will get better though. If nothing else, we can always hope. I am very grateful though for all the good things and amazing people in my life. They help keep me going even though life feels impossible sometimes. I know I have help. I know I am loved. That makes it worth it to keep trying.