I have been going through the worst depression I have ever experienced. The darkness and despair seems never-ending. But as hard as it has been, as dark and hopeless as it feels, I have not completely lost hope. I have not given in to the darkness.
The reason for this is because of what I do every day. It is the hope and the peace and the service, the building up of faith that has been a part of my life since I was a child. As low as I have become, I have not lost hope because prior to this time I built up reservoirs of faith and hope and love. I built up a sanctuary of peace that could not be destroyed in a moment.
That is how I have survived this. That is how I survive every day. There are things that build up my hope and light now, but if I didn’t have those reservoirs to rely on, those things would not be enough. I would not have the light I need to keep going.
So my counsel to you is to build up your reservoirs. Build up your faith. Increase your hope and understanding. Hold on to love and peace. Whatever brings you hope and peace and love, cling to those things. Cling to the things that bring light and goodness to your life. You never know when you are going to need it.
I know that this is not over yet. This darkness and depression is not ending any time soon. But I also know that I am not alone. I am loved, and I am needed, and I am wanted. No, this isn’t easy. And the heaviness I feel will not just go away. But the light I have built up still shines. And no matter how low I go or how long this lasts, I know that my reservoirs are deep enough and wide enough to see me through it all.
And my friends, my amazing, beautiful friends, will not let me fall. They share their light with me and together we both become stronger. I could not be more grateful for that.