Last Sunday, I was in a car crash right about this time. I was going to a friend’s place to return her cat that I had been watching the previous week while she was out of town. About two streets away from her house, a car swerved around another car in the left turn lane and made a left in front of me. I barely had time to step on my brake and honk my horn before crashing into the side of her car.
The good news is that no one was badly injured. My airbag deployed, breaking a small bone in my thumb. The cat that was with me has had a limp since the accident. But we were all very lucky considering the severity of the situation. When it first happened, I was shocked and shaken up but not upset. I took it really well and forgave them right away. In the days following, things have become harder to bear.
Just after the accident, I was fine. My thumb hurt and my car was totaled, but I was mostly okay. Not having a car to get around was inconvenient. I couldn’t go get something to eat whenever I wanted. I had to wake up early for work because that’s when my coworkers could take me. My thumb throbbed and I had to shower with my arm wrapped in a plastic bag so it wouldn’t get wet. It was more difficult, but all of this was mostly an inconvenience.
After day 3, things started to affect me more. The soreness set in and kept me awake from the pain. I got a rental car and emptied out my car. Looking at the front of my car and seeing parts of it hanging out was emotionally scarring. This was my first car, the car I learned to drive in, the car where I spent countless hours with my best friend. You might even say I made my best friend in that car. And here I was, cleaning my life out of it. It didn’t help that it appeared to have been broken into while at the tow lot and some of my stuff was missing.
Aside from my car, the increased pain continues to take its toll on me. I have finals next week and with the lack of my thumb, I don’t know how I’m going to complete them. The pain also makes it hard to think or concentrate on my work. In addition, I have no time off left at work. Due to everything that happened this year, I was running low on sick time and vacation time. The trip I planned to California for Christmas will have to be cut 4 days short.
I am honestly struggling. I have hope. I have faith. I believe things will get better, but in the meantime, life is difficult. Sometimes I wish it was just a little easier. Sometimes I wish I could get a break from all the hardness. But, I must be strong. I must hold on. My only question is, how strong do I have to be?