Waking Up to Life

I feel like I’ve been asleep for a long time.

I came to Idaho at the beginning of last year to start over. I was escaping grief and heartache and hoping that a new place would allow me to heal. The problem with that was that I didn’t really know how to heal. I probably should have gone through grief counseling or something, but I basically decided to just take a break from life.

I stopped taking classes. I stopped volunteering and helping others and just sort of let the world pass me by. And maybe it was just what I needed and maybe it wasn’t, but over the last few months, I’ve been looking around and wondering what I’m doing with my life.

I am not where I want to be, and I have probably taken a few steps back from where I was. It can be disheartening to look at your life and realize how much you have let pass you by. And the truth is that I am tired of simply being alive without really living. I’m tired of just going through the motions of life. There is so much more to experience in life that I haven’t seen in this dazed state of living.

I want to be better. I want to experience life more- love more, live more, do more. I know it is easy to get stuck in the mundane, but I want to break out of that cycle. If there is anything that helps you do that, please let me know. I need all the help I can get.

3 thoughts on “Waking Up to Life

  1. Catherine Schulzke says:

    I find that I need to have made and committed to a plan beforehand—back when I’m motivated. That way, when the time comes to get out and do something worthwhile or retreat back into comfortable inertia, the decision has already been made. E.g. I’ve got a friend relying on me to carpool to the temple; I’ve already purchased tickets to watch the play; I already registered for that charity 5K.

    If I wait for the inspiration, it rarely comes strongly enough. But if I can just get out the door, life’s abundance usually manifests without much further effort.

    Like

  2. mvndaai says:

    I think for me I have to have one at least one thing that I am looking forward to. It could be a vacation, saving to pay something off, or just a project to finish.

    Whenever I don’t have something to look forward to I drift. I hope things get better.

    Liked by 1 person

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