Now that depression isn’t a debilitating part of my life for the moment, I have been able to focus on social skills in therapy instead.
It’s really hard to have client-driven therapy when you’re focusing on social skills. It’s like going to a talent show and being told there’s too many singers so you have to dance instead. Even though you explain that you don’t know how to dance, they just say to try your best and hope it’s what the audience wants. I feel like that’s what I’m doing most of the time in therapy. I have no idea how to communicate, but I’m trying to figure out how to dance and what the audience wants.
It’s sort of exhausting, but good at the same time. I don’t know what I’m doing and I’m drowning half the time, but I’m learning how to swim in the process. I feel like I have been treading water in the social realm for so long that learning to swim is crazy hard. But… At least I have someone who is willing to teach me and maybe eventually I can survive in the deep end.
(Sorry for all the analogies. It’s the only way I know to express how this stuff feels. Hopefully they all make sense!)