Something Good- Day 169

Today was a rough day. I was pulled over by a police officer for not stopping at a stop sign. I had stopped, but there is a curve in the road and walls on each side, which prevented the officer from seeing me stop. I do not know what to do when I get stopped by a police officer. I panic and get defensive because I did nothing wrong. This is my third time being stopped by an officer, and my panic reflex has gotten worse each time. It especially makes me anxious because I feel like I have no control over it. I obey all traffic laws as well as I can, but that does not mean I am safe from an officer trying to make a point.

Anyway, the officer gave me a warning, which I still resented because I knew I had stopped. As I drove away though, I was overcome with feelings of anger and resentment and hurt. I wanted to call my best friend or my sister or other family member, to help calm me down and get to a state where I could go to work okay. Instead, I drove to work and blasted my music. My body tensed to the point where my hands couldn’t move the way they should. I thought about pulling over and calling my boss, but I relaxed just enough to drive safely to work.

My body was aching from tensing up so much, and I was in a bad mood. My coworkers could tell right away that I was upset. After working for a while, I finally calmed down enough to do my job. I did snap at one of my coworkers at the end of the night though, and my boss asked me what was going on. I told her about getting pulled over and my bad experiences with police officers and wanting to call out sick. It brought back up some of the feelings, but I mostly held it together.

Anyway, in the midst of all this, I finally was approved for my house refinance. I have been waiting for this for weeks and working on refinancing for months. I am grateful for the terms I was given though and the way this all worked out.

Another thing that made me smile today was talking with a lady who took her dog outside to do his business. She had a crutch, so I stopped to ask if she needed help with walking her dog. She thanked me for my kindness and said I was sweet to offer. She introduced herself, and we talked for a minute before I drove off. It felt good to connect with someone for a minute or two.

Something Good- Day 80

I was just thinking about how perfect it was that I was challenged to do this at the start of 2020, and now all of this has happened. Today was a fairly good day at the bank. Then I came home and had French bread pizza, which was delicious. Just as we started eating, we got a call from our teenage friend, who is feeling lethargic in this quarantine. My grandma also called me later in the evening to talk and see how we were doing. It is good to connect with people while still social distancing.

Something Good- Day 66-68

My weekend has been filled with spending time with others. I went to ice castles with my church group on Friday. I hosted a connection night on Saturday, where we talked and played games. Then today, I went to a dinner after church and talked to people there.

I started doing a connection night because I was feeling disconnected with the world. As a single person, it can be easy to feel alone in this world. Even though I live with my sister and her cat, I miss interaction with others. I think that is more common as adults because our lives become monotonous. We go to work, eat, sleep, repeat.

It can be difficult to pull ourselves out of that monotony in order to connect to others, which is why social media is so popular. Social media allows you to stay complacent with how things are, while feeling a vague sense of connection with the world around you. The problem is that while social media can let you know what is happening with others, it does not allow you to get closer to the people around you. At some point, you have to reach out to make those connections or be content to stay a speculator in life.

I am not sure if my connection nights will continue to be successful, but I needed to do something to connect to the world around me. I needed to not feel so alone. I hope for the best with them and am grateful that Saturday night went well this week!