Something Good- Day 169

Today was a rough day. I was pulled over by a police officer for not stopping at a stop sign. I had stopped, but there is a curve in the road and walls on each side, which prevented the officer from seeing me stop. I do not know what to do when I get stopped by a police officer. I panic and get defensive because I did nothing wrong. This is my third time being stopped by an officer, and my panic reflex has gotten worse each time. It especially makes me anxious because I feel like I have no control over it. I obey all traffic laws as well as I can, but that does not mean I am safe from an officer trying to make a point.

Anyway, the officer gave me a warning, which I still resented because I knew I had stopped. As I drove away though, I was overcome with feelings of anger and resentment and hurt. I wanted to call my best friend or my sister or other family member, to help calm me down and get to a state where I could go to work okay. Instead, I drove to work and blasted my music. My body tensed to the point where my hands couldn’t move the way they should. I thought about pulling over and calling my boss, but I relaxed just enough to drive safely to work.

My body was aching from tensing up so much, and I was in a bad mood. My coworkers could tell right away that I was upset. After working for a while, I finally calmed down enough to do my job. I did snap at one of my coworkers at the end of the night though, and my boss asked me what was going on. I told her about getting pulled over and my bad experiences with police officers and wanting to call out sick. It brought back up some of the feelings, but I mostly held it together.

Anyway, in the midst of all this, I finally was approved for my house refinance. I have been waiting for this for weeks and working on refinancing for months. I am grateful for the terms I was given though and the way this all worked out.

Another thing that made me smile today was talking with a lady who took her dog outside to do his business. She had a crutch, so I stopped to ask if she needed help with walking her dog. She thanked me for my kindness and said I was sweet to offer. She introduced herself, and we talked for a minute before I drove off. It felt good to connect with someone for a minute or two.

Something Good- Day 123 & 124

Yesterday we organized the house a bit, fixed a bookshelf and rearranged furniture. Then we worked on our mother’s day gift. It was good to get some work done.

Today we were we able to do a video call with my parents, sister’s family, and brother’s family. It was good to see everyone and be able to spend time with them, even if it was virtual. I cannot wait to be able to visit them in person again. We are planning a trip to see them in a few weeks when restrictions lift.

Something Good- Day 111

Today was incredibly busy at work. It did not feel overwhelming, but we kept busy the entire time. At the end of the night, one of the tellers was missing a large amount of money, and we weren’t sure what happened. I am grateful for how we all work together though when someone needs help. I helped my coworker look through everything. Then, my manager helped. We were there later than we should have been, but it was such a good environment.

Prior to this time of quarantines and social distancing, I was passively looking for another job. My coworkers all knew I disliked working at a bank and did not intend to stay long. Now though, I am so grateful for my coworkers and the care the bank has shown me as an employee. I have been humbled by this experience, and it has brought me closer to my coworkers. It is in times of darkness and hurt and loneliness that we find out what lives in us and those around us. We find out what means the most when it matters most.

Something Good- Day 100

My grandma sent me money for Easter. We bought some Easter candy a few weeks ago and ate it all already. Since I knew my grandma was sending me some Easter money, I was able to buy some more candy and eggs so that we can still have a fun Easter. We also have renters moving in tomorrow that will be here for about a month, so we invited them upstairs for Easter dinner. It will be nice to have a somewhat normal holiday in the midst of these uncomfortable circumstances.

Something Good- Day 98

I was feeling down this morning- just the old demons coming back up. My friend messaged me for a bit and then dropped off some treats for me. It was completely unexpected, but I really appreciated the thought. It is hard to be away from friends at this time, but I am grateful for technology that still allows us to communicate and small acts of kindness that bring us together.

Something Good- Day 96-97

We went to the grocery store yesterday. It was our first time really going out since we started quarantine. We figured we were not likely to have Covid-19 since we have only had some congestion and fatigue. We did wear masks with filters though as we shopped. I was glad to see a few others wearing masks because it made us feel less awkward. This was the biggest shopping trip we have done since I bought my house, but I felt less anxious than normal because there were not many people and money is not as tight right now. We got enough food to last a couple weeks so we will not have to go out again for a while.

Sunday was a fairly quiet day. We watched our church conference and a couple movies. We painted a few more rocks and read for a bit. It was a relaxed day.

Something Good- Day 92 & 93

I did not want to write my something good post last night. My sister and I have been having symptoms of sickness since Sunday night. Our symptoms have been mild and ambiguous so far. We have had general body aches and fatigue, congestion and headaches, but nothing that would positively tell us if it was allergies or the flu or anything at this point. I just did not want to try to think of something good in my state of exhaustion.

I did wake up feeling somewhat better today, though that did not last long. I have been able to clean the house a bit and do some laundry over the past couple days. Although my body has been tired, I have completed essential chores each day and then watched movies with my sister to relax.

It is difficult to remain in good spirits while feeling unwell. I have been depressed and lethargic. I also have a shorter temper. I miss work and coworkers but am also grateful to know that I have a job to return to when I recover from whatever sickness this may be.

Something Good- Day 87-89

Social distancing and Idaho’s stay-at-home order means that I need to stay busy to avoid getting depressed. I am very grateful that I do not live alone because that would make this nearly impossible for me. Over the last three days, we have been playing games, cooking and baking, and watching movies and shows.

I have a lot of games that I have never played. This extra time at home has given us the opportunity to try these new games.

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We have also used some kitchen gadgets for the first time. My sister used our mixer to make gluten free bread, which I later turned into bread pudding. Then we used our potato crisper to make homemade potato chips. We are planning to try making apple chips with it as well.

Overall, we are doing well with our social distancing efforts. I called my siblings to check in with them today and texted a couple friends. We avoided the crowded grocery store yesterday and just got a few essential things at a smaller store. My bank has implemented a 10% cash back reward for restaurants, so we have used the drive through for a couple fast food restaurants to help support them at this time. I am staying active by using the elliptical machine we bought a couple months ago. So far depression has only consumed me over a couple minutes in the last week. I think that as long as I keep active and take care of myself, things will all be okay through this.

Something Good- Day 86

It is getting harder to find something good in every day. Every day is sleep, work, eat, repeat. And yet, we find ways to brighten our days. My sister has been packing lunches for me since I can’t go out to eat for lunch, and she knows I never make myself wake up early enough to pack a lunch. Last night she packed me some Easter candy to take to work today. I was trying to save it for Easter, but I think this situation necessitates making every day special instead of waiting for a special day to come.

Something Good- Day 85

Today the governor put us on lockdown. Only essential businesses will stay open, and we are only allowed to leave our homes for necessities. Most of us were living this way anyway, so it does not feel much different to me. I only find it unfortunate that people did not follow the recommendations in the first place to necessitate government mandates.

I was grateful for the laughs with coworkers today as we make the best of this situation. Banks will stay open, so I will continue to go to work for the foreseeable future. I am glad to still have work, and hope for the best for everyone else working in tougher conditions or losing income because of all this.