Alone

Loneliness is my least favorite thing about life. The thing that I’m most worried about is just being alone without anybody to care for or someone who will care for me.

~Anne Hathaway

I have been having a rough few days. Well, to be entirely honest, it has been a lot longer than that, but the last couple days have been especially hard. There is something about being alone that has always bothered me. I do not do well by myself. Even though I am a very independent person, I crave the companionship of others. I have a hard time concentrating by myself. I work best when I have other people nearby, but we are all doing our own thing.

The point of all this is that being alone is hard for me. I have not been alone physically lately, but I have felt very alone in many ways. I feel alone in my struggles, responsibilities, questions, concerns, doubts… I fear that if I tell anyone how I feel, they will worry or not understand or take it too seriously. Sometimes I just want someone to listen to my concerns because most things cannot be fixed and some things do not need to be fixed, but it is nice to have someone to tell what is on your mind.

I have some pretty wonderful friends, and one in particular that has been there for me tonight. I realize that I did not tell her everything and there are a lot of things I have been keeping bottled up, but I was so grateful to be able to share some of my burden, to feel just a little less alone tonight.

Grateful for Listening

I love to talk. When I get the chance to really talk to someone, I always talk longer than I plan to, more than I expect to, and about more than I ┬áprobably should. But… I have had days, even weeks, where I hardly heard the sound of my own voice. So, when I do get to talk, I tend to make up for the years of not being able to talk as much as I wanted. Heck, I still don’t get to talk as much as I want.

But I am so grateful for the people who have listened and do listen. I am so grateful for the opportunity to talk. I am grateful for the opportunity to open up about life. I am so grateful for friends over the years who have let me trust them and talk to them, even when they probably had more important things to do.

And I am grateful for the opportunity to listen. Listening has been a talent that I have always been good at. Sometimes listening to others has changed my life or theirs. I used to be involved in many support groups where I generally just listened to people. Listening saved lives many times. I can’t emphasize enough the power of listening, but I am so grateful for it.