Grateful for Music

I went to a devotional tonight and was able to listen to the testimony and music of an amazing group of singers. I wasn’t sure if I should go because I have been lying in fetal position since I got home from church. But after going, I realized that music helps you forget about the pain for a little bit. I remembered the pain again when the music ended, but for that brief moment, I forgot about the pain.

That’s the power of music. It helps us forget about what’s hurting us. It helps us forget about the pain. I am so grateful for that. I am grateful for the relief and release music gives me.

Sometimes I have no words to describe what I’m going through. Sometimes I don’t have the strength or peace of mind to put my thoughts into words. And sometimes words alone are inadequate to express my feelings and thoughts. I am grateful that in those times, I can sing the words of my heart. Sometimes it is through someone else’s song, and sometimes it is my own song. Either way, I am grateful for the expression of the heart that music gives me.

I am grateful for good music that uplifts, inspires, and heals my heart. I am grateful for the songs I have been given over the years to express myself. I am grateful for the opportunity to listen to positive messages through music, and for the wordless messages that are sometimes just as powerful. Music has been and will continue to be a powerful force for good in my life, and I am so grateful for that.

Buying Love

In the past two years, I have bought over 250 movies, 50 games, and 100 cds. From the outside it may seem like I have a spending problem and even I myself would wonder why I wanted to buy all this stuff.

I’m not a stuff kind of person. In fact, prior to the last 3 years, I never spent any money on things I wanted. I would only spend money on food and necessities. So a sudden surge of shopping habits did not seem to make sense… until… I thought about what I was buying.

What I have realized is that I do not buy any of this stuff for me. I buy it because it might give me a connection to other people. In my family and most families, there are a few things that bring everyone together. While growing up these things were games, movies, food, gifts and music.

So… That’s what I shop for. I buy all of these things because I crave what has historically come with them for me. I crave the love and family and happiness and friendship and interaction that these things brought to me.

Don’t worry though, I won’t become a hoarder. See, I’m not connected to anything I buy. In fact, I couldn’t care less about them. I mean, sure I’d be a little sad if they were all destroyed in a fire, but even that would be okay because it’s not the stuff that matters to me.

I only buy stuff because I want other people to enjoy it with me. There are a few things I buy for myself to improve myself and learn something, but mostly I’m just trying to buy love. I know money can’t buy happiness, but it can buy stuff that facilitates interaction and community, which can help me be happier… So that’s almost the same thing, right?

Music

I’ve seen a lot of posts recently about people with autism having exceptional musical abilities. I looked into this a little bit and found a lot of information about music and autism and the connection between them. Music has been shown to transcend barriers for people with autism. Some people that cannot talk still have the ability to sing and music may be processed more quickly than other things for those with autism. There is also some evidence that music might help in therapy.

As for me personally, I love music. I can’t say that I am exceptionally talented in music and as a child I had a hard time reading sheet music when it became associated with letters. When the keys were numbered in the book, I didn’t have a problem learning and playing them. However, once I learned enough to start reading the notes I just got frustrated and could not process the association. I eventually gave up on playing the piano because of that. I still love music though. I sing in the shower and in my room, usually by myself since music is very personal to me and I am uncomfortable with sharing it with others most of the time. I have also written a few songs both verbally and on paper. I don’t know if music has helped me with my development, but my family is very musical. We all either sing, play an instrument, or just love great music. Music has a very calming effect on me and I notice that when I sing often I am happier and less irritable. Music may or may not help with my autism, but it is something that I wouldn’t want to go a day without.