I think sometimes we fear the wrong thing or we blame the wrong thing or we try to fix the wrong thing. I have a hard time understanding why people blame autism for the hard things that happen to them or their kids. I mean, is it really autism itself that’s the problem or is it something different? For example, if you almost died from eating a piece of cheese because you are allergic to it and didn’t know, you might be tempted to blame the cheese. After all, the cheese is what caused the allergic reaction. The real problem though isn’t the cheese, it’s the allergy. Cheese is delicious and fairly healthy for most people, but if you’re allergic to it then it can be a problem.
So my question is “Is autism really the problem or is it something else?”
autismthoughts 
I dunno how to untangle bipolar and me, I imagine it’s just as tough to work out what to blame when it’s autism.
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That’s true, but I’m mostly talking about when people think that everything comes from a disorder. Like with bipolar, if every time you had a bad day or seemed a little down, people said I hate bipolar disorder. You can still hate bipolar disorder, but that doesn’t mean that it’s the cause of every bad day.
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Oh yeah def
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Before blaming the cheese we need to understand it. If after doing so we still feel the same way we might be able to blame the cheese. Its human nature to jump to conclusions or to blame someone else or something else. Herd mentality doesn’t help make your own conclusions. Rarely do we reflect on ourselves with honest eyes. Sometimes we can’t see ourselves because our self view is distorted and not the true self. How we deal with what we get given shows our character. Every moment is different. Life is never a straight line. We double back and loop, and ‘get’ things only to forget them. Life is more gray than black and white, hard to define.
So in answer to your question, I don’t know.
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Thanks for the comment. I agree, life is hard to define and it’s hard to know what causes what or what is to blame.
I answered the question a little bit in Part 2 of this post though if you’re interested in reading more about it.
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We were very fortunate to have an extraordinary OT, when my Autistic daughter was in Early Intervention, and first diagnosed. I thought I had to do everything to help her, and that everything I did must somehow be different due to her Autism. Thankfully, this wonderful woman pointed out the error in my thinking, and helped me see that I simply needed to let her be a child, and support her in whatever way she needed. Once I realized that she was just like every other child, but processed things differently, I stopped trying to fix what was not broken, and began enjoying the differences in our life, because Beth added such color and beauty. I marvel at the way her mind works, and how she interacts with the world around her. Not all our days are easy, but they are all filled with a sense of wonder that we would not have if there was no Autism.
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That’s great! I’m glad you were able to gain that perspective. 🙂
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I think autism is a label or a category and doesn’t “define” any individual. How do you blame a category? Good question and I’m not sure I have the answer to the dilemma.
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True. If you think of autism as just a name, then by blaming it you’re really just putting a name to what you see as a problem and therefore really putting the blame somewhere else unknowingly. Interesting to think about
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I have nominated you for A Lovely Blog Award. Please check out my post for details. Congratulations!
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Thanks! I just did one of these for the Inspiring blogger award so I’ll probably wait a little bit before I accept it. I do appreciate it though 🙂
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I understand! It took me hours! Worth it, but I wouldn’t want to do it all the time. 🙂
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This is a good question but in the case of my 3 year old son what do I blame? He isn’t the reason for his emotional outburst or his full meltdowns. He isn’t the reason for his repetitive behaviors and his constant hitting. Autism is the reason for his actions. On the other side life is a whole lot more hectic because of his syndrome but it isn’t the fault of autism. If it gets to much it’s my fault for not knowing how to decompress or prioritize.
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I answered the question a little bit in part 2 of this post so hopefully that clears things up a bit.
Autism is the reason for some things, but I just think it’s important to separate autism as a source to blame. If we always connect autism with negative things, it creates a cycle of misunderstanding and hatred. And when you’re in that cycle it’s hard to learn to live with autism, or really live at all.
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Excellent points you raised. I always wondered how much was Autism and when it was his personality. He’s a stubborn, determined little boy who knows what he likes and is passionate. Well meaning professionals would always look at it through the ASD lens and non-compliance etc. Then my little girl was born and she is not Autistic but her middle name should be feisty. She knows what she wants and wants to be able to try doing things herself first before she asks for help. My son is like that too but because of ASD therapists were quick to knock down ideas about personality. I also hate it when they think he doesn’t understand facial expressions and the emotion exhibited. He knows it’s just he has trouble handling the strong emotions coming from a person.
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Yeah, I think sometimes people get caught up in the diagnosis and forget that we’re all people and that everyone is different and has their own personality.
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