Something Good- Day 360-365

I went to my brother’s house for Christmas day. We arrived later than I had planned because I wanted to clean the house before we left, but we ate dinner and then opened gifts with them.

I spent the next few days at my brother’s house. I was able to hold the baby for a while and spend a lot of time with my nieces and nephews. Saturday, we took the kids out to lunch at a pizza buffet. We watched Soul and then went to a light show about 30 minutes from their house. It was a bit of a drive, but definitely worth it.

We had a birthday party on Sunday for my oldest nephew. We had lunch and cake. Then, he opened his presents. We left afterwards to come back home.

Monday was a pretty good day at work. My boss finally came back after being out sick for three months. We were all excited to see her because it has been so long. The day went smoothly, and I was even able to donate plasma during my lunch.

Yesterday we had homemade barbeque meatball subs for dinner. I signed up for a bank account to get a special cash back offer, which I was really excited about. Then, we watched a movie and relaxed.

Today we went to the store to check out holiday clearance items. We bought a few gifts to save for next year and some candy and other things. I am looking forward to taking some time off work over the next couple weeks and spending time with friends in the new year.

Something Good- Day 301

I took my nieces and nephews to a couple pumpkin patches today. They had a lot of fun going down slides, playing in corn pits, riding on wagons, and petting animals. We picked out a large pumpkin and stopped at the store to buy juice to drink. It was a fun day, and most of the children had fallen asleep by the time we returned home.

Something Good- Day 300

Can you believe we are on day 300 already? We are so close to the end of the year.

Today, we did a photo shoot with my two week old nephew. Afterwards, we went out to lunch. Then, we took flowers and a pumpkin to the cemetery for my nephew that passed a few years ago. We ended the day with a delicious homemade dinner and a movie.

Something Good- Day 297-299

We spent most of Friday night packing for our trip to see family. I did spend some time with a friend that I had not seen in a while, as well.

Saturday morning, I went to get an oil change and have my tires serviced. Afterwards, I donated plasma, and we went out for lunch. We arrived at my brother’s house a little later than planned, but the kids were excited to see us.

Today was pretty mellow. We had home church, then watched some movies and played with the kids. At the end of the night, we took the kids for a drive to see Halloween decorations.

Something Good- Day 255-257

I came home very hungry on Friday, so we decided to eat out rather than cook something. We went to three different restaurants that all had long lines. While driving through the parking lot, we noticed that Jack-in-the-box had no line and decided to go there instead. I felt better after eating and we stopped at the grocery store to get some necessities before heading home. We spent the rest of the night trying to figure out financial aid for my sister, but we finally got everything done.

Saturday morning I scrolled through Facebook while eating breakfast and saw a posting for free furniture. I quickly changed and drove over. I was able to get a couple chairs for our basement and some cabinets. By noon, we had turned the cabinets into a makeshift play kitchen. Then, we took a quick trip to donate plasma and check out the thrift store. We found a stove for $0.50, which worked perfectly for the new kitchen we had made. We spent the rest of the night at my friend’s house for dinner and a movie.

Today, we went to church and had lunch there with friends. Afterwards, we updated the kitchen with pictures, a makeshift sink, and organized the supplies in the drawers. It looked great when we were all done, and the kids loved it!

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Something Good- Day 236-240

It has been a while since my last post. I have been spending as much time with family as possible. Sunday I drew Pokemon characters for my nieces and nephew. Then we watched movies and had late night church.

Monday I spent the morning playing outside with the kids. We also played videogames for a while. I picked up my sister that night. We went out for a snack and watched a movie when we got back.

I headed back home Tuesday after a shopping spree at our favorite thrift store. We came away with a bundle of exciting games, books, and movies.

I went back to work yesterday after my short vacation. It was a calmer day, and I was able to catch up on my work. Then, I was able to buy some Pokemon cards for my nephew from someone online.

Today was a busier day at work. I started to get hangry at lunchtime, and I was frustrated that I would not have time to donate plasma during my lunch break. I eventually decided to get Costa Vida, which was delicious and helped me feel better. I came home after work with some treats because I had a couple coupons to use today.

Something Good- Day 209

I went out for slushes with my sister today. We were able to talk for a while and get away from the children. I am grateful that my younger sister was able to babysit for a while so we could have some time to ourselves.

Something Good- Day 197-198

It has been nice having my sister’s family over to visit for the last couple days. My fridge started acting up yesterday, which caused some problems. Luckily, they were able to move everything to our basement fridge and salvage most of the food. It can be hard to not have things as clean as I’m used to, but it is also nice to have children to come home to. That is one of the things I miss most about living with my brother. I miss my nieces and nephews running to greet me when I got home. It is nice to have that again even if only for a short time.

Something Good- Day 148

I am working on a house refinance that is not going through as quickly as I had hoped. But I received a call today that they are hoping to speed up the process if possible. I also saw a post from a friend that made me realize just how lucky I am to own a home at this age, especially on my own.

I am turning 30 in just over a month, and sometimes I feel behind in life. I am not married, have only been on a couple dates in my entire life, and am a long way from having children of my own. But we all have our strengths and weaknesses, struggles and successes. I would love to have someone to share my life with. I would love to have children to love and teach. But my path is just different than what I would want it to be. It is still good though. I am still doing what is right for me at the moment, and that is what is important.

Hangry

Last week was an especially difficult week emotionally. I had multiple breakdowns a day and just struggled to control my emotions several times throughout the week. By the end of the week, I realized that this was not simply the result of inconvenient timing of mood swings but was instead directly correlating to my eating habits. The longer it took for me to get food, the more aggressive and anxious I became.

I have always known that I struggle with handling needing food. I can tolerate hunger and can go without eating for a while without issues, but if I do not get food when I am expecting to eat, I lose self control. I lash out and have even injured myself at times. This probably sounds a bit extreme, but I looked up a couple articles about “hanger” and aggression around hunger. The ones I found most relevant explained that low blood sugar can decrease serotonin, which increases stress and affects the ability to regulate your mood.

As someone who already struggles with serotonin levels and mood regulation, this can easily send me over the edge. I remember as a kid, kicking myself off a bed because I was so hungry that I didn’t know what to do with myself. The biggest problem with all this is that it is difficult to provide food for yourself when you get to that point. Trying to cook something when your brain isn’t working leads to more anger and frustration because the process takes too long or is not going as planned.

At this point, I have realized as an adult that I have three options. I can withdraw myself from the situation until my body tires itself out and I no longer have the energy to be aggressive, or I can try to maintain self control just long enough to get something to eat, or I can allow things to get to the point when I explode and am at risk of hurting others or myself. I can’t tell you how many times I have experienced these problems as an adult, much less as a child. Granted, as a child, someone else was mostly responsible for providing food for me, but I had less control about how or when that food came.

I think it is interesting to note the differences between what we expect of children and adults. Often when we become most frustrated with how someone is acting, there is probably a physiological component to their behavior. Maybe they literally cannot just keep calm and carry on. Maybe they cannot communicate their needs. Maybe they cannot provide for themselves in the ways we expect. The difference between children and adults though is that we expect the child to learn to do these things and the adult to know how to do these things. But maybe instead we need to focus more on why things are happening to help prevent the physiological reaction because at that point, it is too late in many ways to avoid unwanted reactions.